1 00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:13,514 There's a spot, marked on a map. 2 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:14,715 I know the spot. 3 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,551 I can't remember his face. 4 00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:20,164 If I were you, I wouldn't listen. 5 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,265 Play it. 6 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:23,857 Jesus! Fuck, Paul! 7 00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,759 - Just hold on. - Christ. 8 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:27,871 Stacy! 9 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,439 My god. 10 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,732 I heard him die. 11 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,144 As much as I like sitting here, 12 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,979 it hurts more than you'll ever know. 13 00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,905 So, if you're wondering how I feel about you, 14 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,683 I feel enough to sit here and take it. 15 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,852 Abby, if I were you, I would 16 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,021 set my hooks pretty deep in that one. 17 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,248 They're not making any more men like him. 18 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:56,557 I wonder if you know how happy this would make him. 19 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,393 It would fill his heart. 20 00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:02,330 Tomorrow, we Bury them. 21 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,154 That's an elk track right there. 22 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,067 Look, there's another one. 23 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,528 No, that's moose. 24 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,772 How can you tell the difference? 25 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,834 If you spend enough time tracking, you just know. 26 00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:54,742 So, do you have any questions about today? 27 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,686 Like what? 28 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:57,887 I don't know. 29 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,088 Asking you. 30 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,825 Well, you're gonna Bury 'em. 31 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:05,829 We are, then what happens? 32 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:10,090 Then they return to the land. 33 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:15,195 And their bodies become... A part of it, 34 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:19,343 and their souls, too, I guess. 35 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,201 They don't go to heaven? 36 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,605 I think this is their heaven. 37 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,708 Heaven is... 38 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,520 How do I explain this? 39 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,189 Our teacher says there is no heaven. 40 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,058 You know, I don't know if you've already figured this out, 41 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:37,216 but do not believe everything your teacher says. 42 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:43,467 Heaven is your... perfect place. 43 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:45,402 For some, it's 44 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:48,204 ice cream oceans and marshmallow mountains. 45 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:53,834 And... Others, it's these mountains. 46 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,136 Does that make sense? 47 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,473 And grandpa's heaven is here. 48 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,586 I think so. 49 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:06,523 But if you think he's here, why is everyone so sad he's gone? 50 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:10,851 Well, his heaven isn't mine, and... 51 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,497 you know, I can't see him 52 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:16,923 and I can't talk to him and can't hug him, 53 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:20,504 and he can't hug me, and I... I miss that. 54 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,272 Yeah. 55 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,931 I miss it, too. 56 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,243 But that's why we have memories. 57 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,748 We can revisit all those times that we did have. 58 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:36,219 All the talks, all the laughs, all the hugs, and... 59 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:39,313 You know, it's like a movie. We can... 60 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:46,286 We can play it over and over as many times as we want, 61 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,288 you know, in our minds. 62 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,699 You know what I mean? 63 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:50,858 I do. 64 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,405 Not the same, though, as a real hug. 65 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:58,399 No, it's not the same. 66 00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,354 Right here? 67 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,932 She marked it on a map. 68 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,157 All right. 69 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,803 Well, we ain't getting a backhoe down here. 70 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:30,030 Might be able to get a tractor up from the river, but... 71 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,332 not sure what good that'll do us. 72 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:35,912 No, these holes are getting dug the old Irish way. 73 00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,247 Yep. 74 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,340 How the hell we gonna get the caskets here? 75 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:43,043 Swensons still feed off a wagon, don't they? 76 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,712 That's a good idea. 77 00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,548 You want to call or run for shovels? 78 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,026 You call, I'll run. 79 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,520 My gelding's just gonna follow you. 80 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,164 Yank off that bridle. 81 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,188 Yeah. 82 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,954 I am aware. 83 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,213 Yes, I am aware. 84 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,191 We have had a death in the family. 85 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,528 I'm pretty sure the world of girls' volleyball 86 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,554 will survive the week without her. 87 00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,032 Yes, you are correct. 88 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,067 I am not factoring how this affects anyone else 89 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,802 even a little. 90 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,462 Fucking school. 91 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:37,841 Is this gonna be okay? 92 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:40,400 It's gonna have to do, honey, it's all you got. 93 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,936 Hey. 94 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,683 It's just us. 95 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,218 Okay? There's nobody to be offended. 96 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,944 What did school say? 97 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,356 You're missing a volleyball tournament. 98 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:56,416 It's okay. 99 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,486 Hey. 100 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,824 It's okay. 101 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,574 - Hey. - Hey. 102 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,292 Where'd you find cream? 103 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,119 Same shopping center where I found the dress. 104 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,098 I got to say, Bozeman impressed me. 105 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:38,602 I wasn't expecting to find Donna karan in the mountains. 106 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:41,962 - Found a little something -for you, too. - Yeah, 107 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,007 Preston would prefer me in jeans. 108 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:48,636 I think he would find a certain victory in that. 109 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,079 He deserves a little black dress, 110 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,839 and that's exactly what I got you. 111 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,484 Did the boys say when they would be ready? 112 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,343 They said to walk over at noon. 113 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,087 How are they gonna get them out there? 114 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:01,224 I didn't ask, and they didn't say. 115 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,050 They just said it was handled. 116 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,554 About two hours. 117 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,398 Preston wrote a chapter on... 118 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:12,902 Telling time from the sun's position. 119 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:16,764 It's... alarmingly accurate. 120 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,067 The girls asked me to arrange a plane. 121 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,503 When? 122 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:24,838 Tonight. 123 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,751 Okay. 124 00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,252 They need closure, honey. 125 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,154 They won't get it here. 126 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,189 They have lives, and they need to go live them. 127 00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:37,193 I would very much like to plan a memorial service. 128 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,495 He has a lot of friends that deserve a way to say goodbye. 129 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,664 Does he? 130 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:43,222 He does. And you know that. 131 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,702 We could do it at the explorers club. 132 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:49,496 Okay, just... How about the apartment? 133 00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:53,233 Have car bone cater. 134 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,778 He loved that place. 135 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,913 I already called. 136 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,538 You flying back, too? 137 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,543 I have a very worried husband. 138 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:06,513 He's convinced some distant cousin of the unabomber 139 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:07,957 is going to abduct me 140 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:10,718 and hold me in his basement for ransom. 141 00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,962 Depending on the cousin, I'm not completely opposed. 142 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,554 - Stop. - Of course, that's my 143 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,266 warped romance novel version of abduction. 144 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,468 I doubt that's how it would play out, lili. 145 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,038 That is how it'd play out in my mind after two percocets, 146 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,765 so... You think I'm joking? 147 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,466 - No. - No? 148 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,773 I love you. 149 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,722 There is nowhere I would rather be 150 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,724 than with you when you need me. 151 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,149 I know. 152 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,163 I have a little bottle of kahlúa 153 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,032 if you would like some lead in that coffee. 154 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,059 Well, now you're talking. 155 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,959 Little more, more. 156 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:19,653 Okay. 157 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:06,533 Of course you packed the perfect dress. 158 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,119 Is there some little black dress tree 159 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,079 by the river that I am unaware of? 160 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:21,681 Okay, girls. 161 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,418 And Russell. 162 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,873 - Where are they? - Coming. 163 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,564 Okay. 164 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,542 I'm sorry. 165 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,511 Thank you. 166 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,970 Sorry for your loss. 167 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,607 - Sorry for the snot. - No, it's fine. 168 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,982 I'm sorrier than you'll ever know. 169 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:30,927 Thank you. 170 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,459 Okay, boys. 171 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,308 Watch your hand. 172 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,438 Mrs. Clyburn, 173 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,898 - I'm very sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 174 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,568 Is a preacher coming? 175 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,050 I forgot. I-I didn't... I... 176 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,045 this one'll be sans preacher. 177 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,246 What's that mean? 178 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,358 Means we don't have one. 179 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:46,162 Do you have someone to govern the proceedings? 180 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,554 We... 181 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,833 This is my first funeral here, 182 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:54,094 so we're sort of winging it. 183 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,406 Well, this is far from my first rodeo. 184 00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:00,409 Do you mind if I say something first 185 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,411 and then give you all a chance to speak? 186 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:06,273 I don't think my group has many speeches in them. 187 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,319 Do you mind a prayer? 188 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,545 I do not. 189 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:25,234 Lord, we stand before you with heavy hearts. 190 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:28,871 With the glory of love comes the pain of loss, 191 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,440 and we look to you for comfort. 192 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:35,378 Remind us that it is a selfish pain 193 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,937 because you have promised a place called heaven 194 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:41,774 where our departed bask in the glow of your grace. 195 00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:44,287 They are no longer men. 196 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:48,124 They are angels who guide us through darkness, 197 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,194 lift us when we are weak 198 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,486 and nourish our souls and spirits. 199 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,199 Our pain is a selfish pain 200 00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:59,202 because we do not know this place, heaven. 201 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:05,708 We lean on our faith that it exists, and on your mercy 202 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,467 that it holds a place for us 203 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,304 where we may sit in your light beside our loved ones 204 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:15,208 and know only joy forever. 205 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,012 Amen. 206 00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:22,282 If anyone would like a word. 207 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:24,994 Stacy. 208 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,720 It's not the first time you've given that speech. 209 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,399 No, ma'am. 210 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,059 It's a good one. 211 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,695 You care to say something? 212 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:41,034 I have plenty to say, but I won't be saying it today. 213 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,478 Guess that's it, then. 214 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,850 So, what happens now? 215 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,196 We'll take care of everything. 216 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,702 Wait, that's it? That's-that's it? 217 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,670 If you have something to say, then say it, Paige. 218 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,439 I-I don't know what to say. 219 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,374 Wh-what are you supposed to say? 220 00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,233 I think that's her point. 221 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:19,571 Which one's Paul? 222 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,152 Goddamn you for taking him from us. 223 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,234 I love you. 224 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:04,184 Everyone deals with it different, don't they, boys? 225 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:08,288 I don't think they're dealing with it at all. 226 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,566 Not yet, anyway. 227 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,325 Who can blame 'em? 228 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,942 Thank you. 229 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:15,398 Pretty sneaky, trying to have a funeral and not tell anybody. 230 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:20,569 I... I-I didn't know anyone would care. I... 231 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,970 we let you have the funeral. 232 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,139 We will not be denied our feast. 233 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,977 When they decided to build these cabins, 234 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,779 they wanted to do it all themselves. 235 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,681 Mill the wood, frame it, 236 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,483 rough in the electric, the whole deal. 237 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,752 Look at the bottom of 'em there. 238 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,821 They're sitting on railroad ties, 239 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,046 and I could not figure out 240 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,157 what in the hell purpose that would serve. 241 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,851 And I told 'em they're gonna be colder than the devil in winter, 242 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,630 and every skunk and raccoon and god knows what else 243 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,565 is gonna set up shop underneath them. 244 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:52,191 Well, Preston just looked at me and nodded. 245 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,536 Didn't say a word. 246 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,704 About six months later, 247 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,540 tax assessor comes by my place and says, 248 00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,209 "have you seen these cabins they built next door?" 249 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,610 I said I had. 250 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:04,036 And he asked me if I'd ever seen 'em move. 251 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,706 I said, "move? What do-what do you mean, move?" 252 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:10,653 Tax assessor says, when he tried to put a value on 'em, 253 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,188 your husband said they was mobile homes. 254 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:16,359 You pick 'em up with a forklift and move 'em. 255 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,694 And asked me if I'd ever seen 'em be mobile. 256 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,086 Well, I told him, 257 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,154 "well, yeah, they haul 'em all over the place." 258 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,501 And if you look at the back of that outhouse, 259 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,227 your husband nailed tires from a shopping cart 260 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,573 and said that son of a bitch was mobile, too. 261 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,843 He did not want to pay any taxes. 262 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,245 I wondered what those were for. 263 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:39,238 Preston always had issues with authority. 264 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,984 Wheels on the outhouse. Never seen anything like it. 265 00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:44,186 No. 266 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:47,856 Indian tacos. Good stuff. 267 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,224 Want some? 268 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,284 How about some of those cookies? 269 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,996 Good choice. 270 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,889 I was thinking, like, three. 271 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,792 What's your mom gonna say about that? 272 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,294 My mom's not gonna say anything 273 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,005 'cause she's not gonna see me eat 'em. 274 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:04,740 Let's keep this between us. 275 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,943 I think that's a good idea. 276 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,890 Thank you for today. 277 00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,859 It means more than you know. 278 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,853 Someone had to do it for me. I know what it means. 279 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:31,090 I'm sorry it had to be done. 280 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,268 We're flying out tonight. 281 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,703 Girls have missed enough school, 282 00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:36,204 and I have exhausted my wardrobe. 283 00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,398 But... 284 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:43,045 I'd like to come back. 285 00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:47,015 Or... Dare I invite you to New York? 286 00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,641 Well, the only way 287 00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:51,454 you get me to New York is if it seceded from the union 288 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:53,322 and I was drafted into the army to take it back. 289 00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,223 Okay, you got to go a little easier 290 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:58,160 - on my city, buddy. - I'm-I'm... I'm not knocking it. 291 00:21:58,184 --> 00:21:59,662 I'm just not going there. 292 00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:01,854 Fair enough. 293 00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,590 Then I'll come visit. 294 00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:05,634 Sure. 295 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,060 I mean it. 296 00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:11,063 Okay. 297 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:13,800 I mean it. 298 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:23,452 I'm a sheriff's deputy who makes $52,000 a year. 299 00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:26,879 I have $12,000 in the bank, and I'm about to spend six of it 300 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,591 on a pretty average rope horse. 301 00:22:28,615 --> 00:22:30,726 Three nights a week, I'm gonna load him in a trailer 302 00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:32,218 and drag him all over Montana 303 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,929 trying to win back what I spent on him. 304 00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:36,022 In October, I'm gonna take my boys in the mountains 305 00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:38,190 for a month and fill our freezer with elk. 306 00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:40,369 I ain't never laying on no beach. 307 00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:42,938 I'm never going to Europe, 308 00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:45,541 or San Francisco or any city bigger than billings. 309 00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:47,900 Ever. 310 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:49,945 What part of that sounds good to you? 311 00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:52,280 - None of it. - Now, walk me through your life. 312 00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:53,372 What won't you change? 313 00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:54,783 I don't have those kind of obstacles. 314 00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,943 I... just walk me through it. 315 00:23:00,012 --> 00:23:02,549 Macy has gymnastics every morning. 316 00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:06,294 From there, I go to pilates. From pilates, 317 00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,597 I go to my therapist. From my therapist, I go to coffee 318 00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,499 with my girlfriends to talk about all the bullshit advice 319 00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:12,300 my therapist gave me. 320 00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:15,337 Then I pick up Macy and I get bridgett and we go to ballet. 321 00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:16,801 We have recitals every Friday night. 322 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,674 Saturday morning, we have competitions. 323 00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:20,142 I take the girls to St. barts 324 00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,077 for Christmas, Italy for the month of July, 325 00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:26,573 which you would love, I will point out. 326 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:32,178 Who feeds the horses? 327 00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:34,757 Isn't there a service for that? 328 00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:36,883 You have to do it every day? 329 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,127 Okay. 330 00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:42,731 Okay, there is no future in this, but you are tall 331 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,492 and kind and fucking beautiful. 332 00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,335 You are tall and kind and beautiful. 333 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:50,205 Okay. So can we just agree to fuck this up together 334 00:23:50,229 --> 00:23:52,812 and have as much sex - as possible until... 335 00:23:52,836 --> 00:23:53,299 Jesus. 336 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,377 - Until we can't? - Yeah, 337 00:23:55,401 --> 00:23:57,279 you city girls do spell it out, don't you? 338 00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:59,171 Yeah, we-we... We get to the point. 339 00:23:59,305 --> 00:24:00,749 - Yup, we do. - I go 340 00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:02,150 from wondering when we're gonna see each other 341 00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:04,587 to wondering when you're gonna leave. I... 342 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,347 I think I'd rather just miss you. 343 00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:12,685 - I'm not gone yet. - You know what I mean. 344 00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:14,887 So is this goodbye? 345 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,390 I think it's best. 346 00:24:18,491 --> 00:24:19,992 Wow. 347 00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:24,306 Let me just clarify 348 00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:27,867 that you are breaking up with me at my father's funeral. 349 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,845 We-we aren't together to break up. We... 350 00:24:29,869 --> 00:24:31,346 no, no, no, we seemed pretty together yesterday when 351 00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:32,848 - you were lying on top of me. - Abby, I... 352 00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,950 don't fucking "Abby" me now. 353 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,351 You want to miss me? 354 00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:38,320 Is that what you want? 355 00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:40,055 Here's your fucking chance. 356 00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:11,410 It's time to go home, isn't it? 357 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:14,947 It's been time, honey. 358 00:25:49,248 --> 00:25:52,351 When did your father die, Russell? 359 00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:56,665 It'll be, six years in April. 360 00:25:56,689 --> 00:25:58,033 Where is he buried? 361 00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,367 My mother had him cremated. 362 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:01,236 Yeah, the plan was 363 00:26:01,260 --> 00:26:03,471 to spread his ashes at our place in montauk, 364 00:26:03,495 --> 00:26:06,766 but... never did it. 365 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:08,443 I don't know why. 366 00:26:08,467 --> 00:26:11,938 So, he's sitting in a jar on our mantle, 367 00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:15,050 which is an odd custom. 368 00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:19,646 Putting ashes in a jar above a fireplace full of ashes. 369 00:26:19,779 --> 00:26:24,717 What do you miss most about him? 370 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:30,799 He used to call me every Monday and, tell me a joke. 371 00:26:30,823 --> 00:26:33,025 Really? 372 00:26:33,826 --> 00:26:35,237 You still remember them? 373 00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:36,562 Yeah. 374 00:26:36,663 --> 00:26:37,640 Tell me one. 375 00:26:37,664 --> 00:26:39,141 - No, no, no. - Come on. 376 00:26:39,165 --> 00:26:42,110 They... Yeah, my father had a, 377 00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:44,112 rather warped sense of humor. 378 00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:47,573 Yeah, well, at this point, I'm pretty hard to offend. 379 00:26:52,078 --> 00:26:53,488 Okay. 380 00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:57,826 Okay. 381 00:26:57,850 --> 00:27:00,462 So there are four nuns driving in a Van. 382 00:27:00,486 --> 00:27:02,831 And the Van goes off a cliff, and they all die. 383 00:27:02,855 --> 00:27:05,000 - Funny. - No, no, no, that's... 384 00:27:05,024 --> 00:27:07,235 I'm-I'm getting to the story. This is all just the setup. 385 00:27:07,259 --> 00:27:09,237 - Yeah, I got-i got it, yeah. - Okay. 386 00:27:09,261 --> 00:27:11,173 So they're standing at the pearly gates, 387 00:27:11,197 --> 00:27:14,409 and St. Peter looks them over, and he says to the first nun, 388 00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:16,444 "this is your last chance to confess 389 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,781 before you enter the gates of heaven, 390 00:27:18,805 --> 00:27:21,349 and your conscience must be cleansed before you enter." 391 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:24,343 So the first nun thinks about it, and she says, 392 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:25,988 "well... 393 00:27:26,012 --> 00:27:29,091 I used to sneak peeks at father Riley in the shower." 394 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:31,851 St. Peter says, "well, you're a naughty one, sister. 395 00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:33,896 Wash your eyes in this bowl of holy water 396 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,363 and say five hail Marys." 397 00:27:35,387 --> 00:27:37,866 She does. Sends her off to heaven. 398 00:27:37,890 --> 00:27:40,669 So he looks at the second nun, asks her the same thing. 399 00:27:40,693 --> 00:27:42,938 She says, "well, on occasion, 400 00:27:42,962 --> 00:27:46,398 I would stroke father Riley's member with my hand." 401 00:27:46,532 --> 00:27:49,344 St. Peter just shakes his head, 402 00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:51,488 tells her to wash her hand in the bowl of holy water, 403 00:27:51,537 --> 00:27:52,948 say ten hail Marys. 404 00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:55,617 So, she does, lets her into heaven. 405 00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:57,385 Now the third nun steps up, 406 00:27:57,409 --> 00:28:00,079 but the fourth nun grabs her, throws her to the ground 407 00:28:00,212 --> 00:28:01,772 and steps up to the bowl of holy water. 408 00:28:01,848 --> 00:28:04,893 St. Peter says, "what on earth are you doing, sister?" 409 00:28:04,917 --> 00:28:07,595 And the nun says, "I'm gonna wash my mouth out in this bowl 410 00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:10,489 before that bitch puts her ass in it." 411 00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:16,438 I stand corrected, Russell. 412 00:28:16,462 --> 00:28:18,040 I can still be offended. 413 00:28:18,064 --> 00:28:20,066 That was very poorly chosen. 414 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,044 I'm sorry. It was the first one that came to my mind. 415 00:28:22,068 --> 00:28:24,046 I am so sorry. I... 416 00:28:24,070 --> 00:28:27,315 - It's terrible. - Common denominator 417 00:28:27,339 --> 00:28:29,184 for their problem seems to be father Riley. 418 00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:32,054 Yeah, he, did get around. 419 00:28:32,078 --> 00:28:34,022 What's in it? 420 00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:36,615 Vodka soda, easy on the soda. 421 00:28:37,449 --> 00:28:38,560 God bless you. 422 00:28:38,584 --> 00:28:40,228 I'm meeting Stefan at the gym 423 00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:42,497 at 9:00, if you're up for it. 424 00:28:42,521 --> 00:28:43,899 Yeah. 425 00:28:43,923 --> 00:28:46,292 Exercise is exactly what I need. 426 00:28:49,361 --> 00:28:53,299 I see things didn't end well with the cowboy? 427 00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:56,068 Has that look about it. 428 00:28:57,669 --> 00:28:59,547 Paige has been quiet. 429 00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:01,416 I think this is going to be hardest 430 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,510 on her, I'm afraid. 431 00:29:05,277 --> 00:29:07,479 - How so? - When you've dedicated 432 00:29:07,613 --> 00:29:11,550 your entire life to gaining the attention of one person... 433 00:29:12,985 --> 00:29:15,554 what is your purpose when that person is gone? 434 00:29:16,322 --> 00:29:18,033 The girls are handling it well, at least. 435 00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:20,903 Yeah, well, they're too young to know the difference. 436 00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:24,096 Just one less present at Christmas. 437 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:31,346 I know an excellent therapist, Stacy. 438 00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:32,905 You are my therapist. 439 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,118 You're my best friend. 440 00:29:36,142 --> 00:29:38,020 I'm incapable of being impartial. 441 00:29:38,044 --> 00:29:40,346 Speaking to someone who can look at the situation 442 00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:43,725 with clarity and with zero opinion... 443 00:29:43,749 --> 00:29:45,227 what I need is opinion. 444 00:29:45,251 --> 00:29:48,130 If I want to know what the book on death says, 445 00:29:48,154 --> 00:29:50,122 I'll buy the fucking book. 446 00:31:46,605 --> 00:31:49,451 I ordered a charcuterie board from eataly. 447 00:31:49,475 --> 00:31:51,386 And the pizzas from Joe's? 448 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,645 One of us is thinking about your cholesterol. 449 00:31:53,779 --> 00:31:55,590 Pizzas are for Paul. It's the one thing 450 00:31:55,614 --> 00:31:57,916 he misses about this city. 451 00:32:00,352 --> 00:32:01,553 Look at you. 452 00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:05,124 - Look at me, what? - Men are such children. 453 00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,102 Well, this should be interesting. 454 00:32:07,126 --> 00:32:09,771 You are. You have the same look on your face 455 00:32:09,795 --> 00:32:11,406 pulling out those nasty boots 456 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:13,508 as an 11-year-old pulling out his baseball cleats. 457 00:32:13,532 --> 00:32:16,302 It's the same look you get when Gucci has a sale. 458 00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:18,937 That's different. That's me saving you money. 459 00:32:19,038 --> 00:32:22,008 You know, this is proof of the genetic distinction 460 00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:24,286 between men and women. 461 00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:26,345 Tell me, love of my life, 462 00:32:26,478 --> 00:32:29,557 all the ways how when you buy something on sale, 463 00:32:29,581 --> 00:32:31,759 it saves me money. 464 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:33,461 I'm gonna buy the damn thing no matter what. 465 00:32:33,485 --> 00:32:36,655 Waiting for the sale is how much I love you. 466 00:32:38,190 --> 00:32:40,502 - That almost makes sense. - It makes perfect sense 467 00:32:40,526 --> 00:32:43,671 once you accept the inevitability of the purchase. 468 00:32:46,032 --> 00:32:47,575 Okay. 469 00:32:47,599 --> 00:32:49,577 Why do you do that? 470 00:32:49,601 --> 00:32:51,079 What? 471 00:32:51,103 --> 00:32:56,008 Is your little mountain mistress the jealous type? 472 00:32:56,875 --> 00:32:58,253 You want to know? 473 00:32:58,277 --> 00:33:01,189 I do want to know. I really want to know. 474 00:33:01,213 --> 00:33:03,715 Because I lost it once. 475 00:33:03,849 --> 00:33:05,393 Fell off in the river. 476 00:33:05,417 --> 00:33:06,828 I spent two days looking for it. 477 00:33:06,852 --> 00:33:08,330 I'm not going through that shit again. 478 00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:11,990 So if I put it right there, I can't lose it. 479 00:33:12,091 --> 00:33:14,426 Panicked, were you? 480 00:33:15,527 --> 00:33:17,472 Terrified. 481 00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:19,174 It's nice to see I still have that effect. 482 00:33:19,198 --> 00:33:22,301 Boy. Do you ever, baby. 483 00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:16,931 Madison Avenue. 484 00:34:16,955 --> 00:34:19,458 How did they get the name, do you think? 485 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:24,338 I always assumed James Madison. 486 00:34:24,362 --> 00:34:25,573 - The president. - Yeah. 487 00:34:25,597 --> 00:34:27,275 Of course. That would make sense. 488 00:34:27,299 --> 00:34:28,876 Yeah. 489 00:34:30,268 --> 00:34:31,746 I suppose they named the Madison river 490 00:34:31,770 --> 00:34:33,438 after him, as well. 491 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:35,916 Where's the Madison river? 492 00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:37,775 Montana. 493 00:34:39,445 --> 00:34:41,112 Where your husband spent time? 494 00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:48,053 Is that where he died? 495 00:34:48,154 --> 00:34:50,097 No. He died on another river. 496 00:34:50,121 --> 00:34:54,193 Actually, no, he died on a mountain. 497 00:34:55,261 --> 00:34:57,729 No-no river involved at all. 498 00:35:03,702 --> 00:35:06,338 How do you feel when you tell me that? 499 00:35:06,472 --> 00:35:08,006 How do you think I feel? 500 00:35:08,140 --> 00:35:11,553 I don't presume to know. It's why I asked. 501 00:35:11,577 --> 00:35:14,322 Isn't that your job? 502 00:35:14,346 --> 00:35:16,182 To tell me how I feel? 503 00:35:17,249 --> 00:35:19,794 My job is to help you understand how you feel. 504 00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:22,764 More so, 505 00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:24,799 my job is to help you understand the behaviors 506 00:35:24,823 --> 00:35:26,858 that those feelings elicit. 507 00:35:33,799 --> 00:35:38,069 And how would you describe my present behavior? 508 00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:40,348 Hostile. 509 00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:43,718 Hostile? 510 00:35:43,742 --> 00:35:45,211 Mistrusting. 511 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:48,256 Which I understand. 512 00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,216 You don't know me. 513 00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:56,664 And yet, here you are, in theory, willing to expose 514 00:35:56,688 --> 00:36:00,692 your most personal thoughts and intimate feelings. 515 00:36:01,527 --> 00:36:04,230 Trust me in my interpretation 516 00:36:04,363 --> 00:36:07,533 of those feelings and behaviors... 517 00:36:09,034 --> 00:36:11,237 to guide your decision-making in the future. 518 00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:13,205 My decision-making? What... 519 00:36:13,339 --> 00:36:15,317 What-what decisions are we questioning? 520 00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:17,221 - I'm not questioning any. - No, you are the one 521 00:36:17,276 --> 00:36:19,245 who said it. My husband died. 522 00:36:19,378 --> 00:36:24,292 The love of my life, the father of my children, 523 00:36:24,316 --> 00:36:27,719 my center, my soul is gone. 524 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:33,468 If you, by chance, have happened upon any information 525 00:36:33,492 --> 00:36:36,904 that might assist me in mitigating the desire 526 00:36:36,928 --> 00:36:40,165 to claw my eyes out with a fucking spoon 527 00:36:40,266 --> 00:36:45,304 to get rid of the pain, I sure would appreciate that. 528 00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:48,206 But I do not need you staring at me 529 00:36:48,307 --> 00:36:50,117 like I'm some bored housewife 530 00:36:50,141 --> 00:36:54,021 trying to justify her affair with her fucking tennis coach. 531 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,491 I know those women, plenty of them. 532 00:36:56,515 --> 00:36:59,618 I am not one of them. 533 00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:03,698 I... Am hurting. 534 00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:07,435 And I would like some help with that. 535 00:37:07,459 --> 00:37:09,194 If you can. 536 00:37:09,295 --> 00:37:11,463 If you can't... 537 00:37:13,164 --> 00:37:14,833 then I'll leave early. 538 00:37:15,934 --> 00:37:18,804 And you can keep the fucking change. 539 00:37:24,810 --> 00:37:26,445 You care for a drink? 540 00:37:29,281 --> 00:37:31,082 I would love one. 541 00:37:37,723 --> 00:37:39,891 Don't normally do this. 542 00:37:40,659 --> 00:37:44,496 Spend most of my time convincing my clients not to self-medicate. 543 00:37:46,398 --> 00:37:47,709 Don't mind whiskey? 544 00:37:47,733 --> 00:37:50,769 I don't give a shit what it is. 545 00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:13,000 What you need is this. 546 00:38:13,024 --> 00:38:15,327 A lot of this. 547 00:38:15,461 --> 00:38:16,838 Not this. 548 00:38:16,862 --> 00:38:18,997 A lot of talking. 549 00:38:19,898 --> 00:38:21,409 And yelling and crying. 550 00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:24,370 A lot of it, and often. 551 00:38:25,203 --> 00:38:26,905 And in time... 552 00:38:28,540 --> 00:38:30,809 those memories will become fond again. 553 00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:34,145 They won't hurt to recall them. 554 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:38,784 And you'll... Laugh. 555 00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:43,288 Will you love again? 556 00:38:43,389 --> 00:38:45,099 Maybe. 557 00:38:45,123 --> 00:38:47,993 I don't have any idea if that's something you want. 558 00:38:50,462 --> 00:38:52,030 Will you ever be whole again? 559 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:55,534 Will you feel like you did before he died? 560 00:38:58,570 --> 00:38:59,971 No. 561 00:39:00,872 --> 00:39:02,541 But you know that. 562 00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:06,878 But you will heal if you let yourself. 563 00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:10,081 You will have as much life to live 564 00:39:10,215 --> 00:39:12,484 as you allow yourself. 565 00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:18,256 Or you'll have none. 566 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:21,993 You'll have no life. 567 00:39:25,997 --> 00:39:28,233 Does that make sense? 568 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,903 Yeah. 569 00:39:32,771 --> 00:39:34,406 Okay. 570 00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:41,022 Why don't you finish your drink and let me have it? 571 00:39:41,046 --> 00:39:42,624 Seriously. 572 00:39:42,648 --> 00:39:44,950 Come on. Give it your best shot. 573 00:39:50,355 --> 00:39:53,267 You're a terrible therapist, you know that? 574 00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:56,270 Yeah. With that smug fucking sweater. 575 00:39:58,163 --> 00:39:59,841 You really like saying "fuck," don't you? 576 00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,076 I know. 577 00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:04,169 I find it quite... 578 00:40:05,704 --> 00:40:07,515 liberating, at the moment. 579 00:40:07,539 --> 00:40:09,116 Good. 580 00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:10,418 Say it again. 581 00:40:10,442 --> 00:40:11,953 Fuck you. 582 00:40:11,977 --> 00:40:15,280 Are we gonna do trust falls next, you fucking quack? 583 00:40:17,449 --> 00:40:19,260 It's a really good place to start. Come on. 584 00:40:19,284 --> 00:40:21,295 Keep it coming. Let's go. 585 00:40:21,319 --> 00:40:22,621 I'm serious. 586 00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:29,160 I'm thinking about it. 587 00:40:29,294 --> 00:40:31,706 I'm considering it. 588 00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:33,441 I know, I know, I know. 589 00:40:33,465 --> 00:40:36,668 I'm running away, running away from my problems. 590 00:40:36,802 --> 00:40:38,946 But this problem goes with me, so 591 00:40:38,970 --> 00:40:41,507 I'm not running from anything. 592 00:40:43,408 --> 00:40:45,477 Would I miss my daughters? 593 00:40:45,611 --> 00:40:48,814 Honestly, I don't... I don't know. 594 00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:51,850 And part of me thinks it would be better for them. 595 00:40:51,983 --> 00:40:53,985 You know, live their own lives. 596 00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:56,822 Maybe they could move with you. 597 00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:58,633 I mean, it doesn't sound like either of them are bound 598 00:40:58,657 --> 00:41:01,268 - to the city. - That's what I said. 599 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:03,070 My oldest daughter needs it. 600 00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,329 I... 601 00:41:05,096 --> 00:41:07,875 actually threatened to cut her off if she didn't. 602 00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:09,844 That's not very nice. 603 00:41:09,868 --> 00:41:13,114 What, do they teach sarcasm 604 00:41:13,138 --> 00:41:15,206 in therapy school these days? 605 00:41:16,007 --> 00:41:18,620 Well, if by "therapy school" you mean dartmouth, 606 00:41:18,644 --> 00:41:21,680 then, yeah, they kind of invented it there. 607 00:41:26,184 --> 00:41:27,886 You think I should? 608 00:41:30,288 --> 00:41:32,858 Not my place to say, but... 609 00:41:34,626 --> 00:41:37,062 I think you should consider it, 610 00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:38,697 and I'll tell you why. 611 00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:41,375 Because you are actively weighing your future 612 00:41:41,399 --> 00:41:44,178 and the consequences of your choices in that future, 613 00:41:44,202 --> 00:41:45,780 and that's healthy. That's good for your soul. 614 00:41:45,804 --> 00:41:48,850 So whether you actually do it is irrelevant. 615 00:41:48,874 --> 00:41:51,753 But you should seriously consider it. 616 00:41:51,777 --> 00:41:55,723 You should consider moving to Europe, 617 00:41:55,747 --> 00:41:57,224 spend a year traveling. 618 00:41:57,248 --> 00:41:58,860 You've got the financial means, 619 00:41:58,884 --> 00:42:00,962 no responsibilities here preventing it. 620 00:42:00,986 --> 00:42:04,189 You should consider everything. 621 00:42:06,091 --> 00:42:08,302 Wish I could have met him. 622 00:42:08,326 --> 00:42:10,304 Must have been a hell of a man. 623 00:42:10,328 --> 00:42:11,906 Because you are a hell of a woman. 624 00:42:11,930 --> 00:42:14,408 You know who you are and you're not ashamed of it. 625 00:42:14,432 --> 00:42:17,779 And this... the yelling, and crying and pondering... 626 00:42:17,803 --> 00:42:20,414 this is what you're supposed to be doing. 627 00:42:20,438 --> 00:42:22,283 This is grieving. 628 00:42:22,307 --> 00:42:25,419 This is accepting an immeasurable loss in your life 629 00:42:25,443 --> 00:42:28,413 and racking your brain to try to find a way to survive it. 630 00:42:29,681 --> 00:42:31,282 And you will. 631 00:42:34,953 --> 00:42:37,122 Thank you, Phil. 632 00:42:37,923 --> 00:42:39,791 Wow. This has been... 633 00:42:41,259 --> 00:42:43,004 pleasantly cathartic. 634 00:42:43,028 --> 00:42:45,006 I took one look at that sweater, 635 00:42:45,030 --> 00:42:48,442 and I had very little faith in you, but you... 636 00:42:48,466 --> 00:42:49,877 you overcame it. 637 00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:53,447 Turns out you don't suck at your job. 638 00:42:53,471 --> 00:42:56,818 Well, that is wildly offensive. 639 00:42:56,842 --> 00:42:58,219 Thank you. 640 00:42:58,243 --> 00:43:00,187 Same time tomorrow? 641 00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:02,147 I'm thinking afternoon. 642 00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,549 I still got five clients, and I'm pretty drunk. 643 00:43:04,650 --> 00:43:08,295 I think you are a client to end the day with, not begin one. 644 00:43:08,319 --> 00:43:10,798 Fine. See you at happy hour. 645 00:43:27,673 --> 00:43:29,307 Across the northern plains and into 646 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,887 the upper mid west, a colder air mass is settling in. 647 00:43:40,819 --> 00:43:42,229 Who's your realtor? 648 00:43:42,253 --> 00:43:45,399 Yeah. No matter what I do, I can't stay here. 649 00:43:45,423 --> 00:43:48,235 Lili, I can smell him. 650 00:43:48,259 --> 00:43:50,095 Hold on, hold on. 651 00:43:52,163 --> 00:43:53,531 Is everything okay? 652 00:43:53,665 --> 00:43:58,412 So, Paige is-is-is in bed, and she won't talk, 653 00:43:58,436 --> 00:44:00,782 and she can't stop crying, and she's... 654 00:44:00,806 --> 00:44:02,606 Well, she's hyperventilating, and I feel like 655 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,351 I should call an ambulance, but I don't... 656 00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:06,187 Like, I feel like that might make her worse. 657 00:44:06,211 --> 00:44:07,755 No, you're right, you're right. It would. 658 00:44:07,779 --> 00:44:09,156 I'll be there in 15 minutes. 659 00:44:09,180 --> 00:44:12,017 - Call Abby. - Okay, okay. Calling her now. 660 00:44:38,910 --> 00:44:40,855 - Is she in the bedroom? - Yeah. 661 00:44:46,384 --> 00:44:47,795 Do you have any sweets? 662 00:44:47,819 --> 00:44:50,732 - Sweets? - Okay, get some ice cream... 663 00:44:50,756 --> 00:44:53,558 rocky road... and buy some chocolate chips. 664 00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:55,737 Put three scoops in a glass of milk, 665 00:44:55,761 --> 00:44:57,204 put the chocolate chips on top, 666 00:44:57,228 --> 00:44:59,373 and-and then just bring it to me with a spoon. 667 00:44:59,397 --> 00:45:01,232 That sounds, disgusting, to start. 668 00:45:01,366 --> 00:45:03,477 I wasn't asking your opinion of it, Russell. 669 00:45:09,908 --> 00:45:11,318 I got rocky road. 670 00:45:11,342 --> 00:45:13,087 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 671 00:45:13,111 --> 00:45:16,223 - Grabbed the chocolate chips? - The shitty ones like she likes. 672 00:45:16,247 --> 00:45:17,358 Well, looks like all we need 673 00:45:17,382 --> 00:45:18,750 from you is a cup, Russell. 674 00:45:18,884 --> 00:45:20,085 Give it to her. 675 00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:22,487 - She knows how to make it. - Got it. Okay. 676 00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:25,833 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 677 00:45:25,857 --> 00:45:28,169 - Hey, it's okay. It's okay. - I... I'm sorry. 678 00:45:28,193 --> 00:45:31,005 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. You know what this is? 679 00:45:31,029 --> 00:45:32,306 Wha-what? 680 00:45:32,330 --> 00:45:34,075 This is how much you loved him. 681 00:45:34,099 --> 00:45:37,111 And your body just doesn't know where to put all that love now. 682 00:45:37,135 --> 00:45:38,846 Okay? But you don't have to put it anywhere. 683 00:45:38,870 --> 00:45:41,182 And you don't have to stop loving someone 684 00:45:41,206 --> 00:45:42,449 when they're gone, honey. 685 00:45:42,473 --> 00:45:44,485 In fact, one could argue 686 00:45:44,509 --> 00:45:46,420 that you should love them more. 687 00:45:46,444 --> 00:45:49,547 And here's a sad fact of life. 688 00:45:51,449 --> 00:45:52,960 You will feel this way again. 689 00:45:52,984 --> 00:45:55,196 - No. - Yeah, when I die. 690 00:45:55,220 --> 00:45:57,789 When your husband dies and your friends. 691 00:45:57,923 --> 00:45:59,457 And-and someday, 692 00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:02,327 your children will feel this way about you. 693 00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:05,873 Thanks, mom. I feel so much better. 694 00:46:05,897 --> 00:46:07,708 I come bearing gifts. 695 00:46:07,732 --> 00:46:09,334 I'm not hungry. 696 00:46:09,467 --> 00:46:12,003 It's not food. It is a drug. 697 00:46:12,137 --> 00:46:15,249 It is sugar and chocolate in a mixture 698 00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,750 that only your metabolism can process in a way 699 00:46:16,774 --> 00:46:18,485 that doesn't end up on your hips. 700 00:46:18,509 --> 00:46:20,478 And I hate you for it. 701 00:46:23,148 --> 00:46:25,350 I used to eat this when I was, like, five. 702 00:46:25,483 --> 00:46:28,053 Well, you still act five, so... 703 00:46:31,422 --> 00:46:32,757 Fuck you and your bad roots. 704 00:46:32,858 --> 00:46:34,525 Now she's back. 705 00:46:34,659 --> 00:46:37,138 I don't understand it. 706 00:46:37,162 --> 00:46:39,797 It's the crunch with the cold 707 00:46:39,898 --> 00:46:41,475 and the mushy of the ice cream. 708 00:46:41,499 --> 00:46:42,800 Right. 709 00:46:42,901 --> 00:46:45,746 The explanation doesn't sell it, Paige. 710 00:46:45,770 --> 00:46:48,206 Well... You got her? 711 00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:50,517 I got her, but I cannot stay the night. 712 00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:52,053 I can stay the night. 713 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,090 - This is my favorite thing ever. - I know. 714 00:47:16,634 --> 00:47:18,603 She okay? 715 00:47:20,205 --> 00:47:21,873 Yeah, she will be. 716 00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:27,245 Is there a decent bar near here? 717 00:47:27,378 --> 00:47:31,993 There's a... There's a dive bar around the corner. 718 00:47:32,017 --> 00:47:35,887 Well, soho's version of a dive bar. 719 00:47:50,601 --> 00:47:53,214 What's this place called? 720 00:47:53,238 --> 00:47:55,106 I don't know. 721 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:57,475 I'm-I'm not sure it has a name. 722 00:48:08,853 --> 00:48:10,631 Hi. 723 00:48:10,655 --> 00:48:12,466 What's the name of this place? 724 00:48:12,490 --> 00:48:15,302 Name? People just call it the bar. 725 00:48:15,326 --> 00:48:17,671 Or the bar down the street. Something like that. 726 00:48:17,695 --> 00:48:20,041 - No name? - Not that I'm aware of, no. 727 00:48:20,065 --> 00:48:21,775 What does your paycheck say? 728 00:48:21,799 --> 00:48:26,180 Xt enterprises llc or some shit. 729 00:48:28,173 --> 00:48:32,886 Okay, so... Bar just doesn't have a name. 730 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:34,655 No name. What can I get you? 731 00:48:34,679 --> 00:48:36,114 God. I'm... 732 00:48:36,247 --> 00:48:38,759 I am not in the mood to make any decisions. 733 00:48:38,783 --> 00:48:40,627 Martini? 734 00:48:40,651 --> 00:48:42,487 That is a cocktail, 735 00:48:42,620 --> 00:48:45,299 and this is the furthest place from a cocktail bar, so... 736 00:48:45,323 --> 00:48:48,402 True that. How about a Irish car bomb? 737 00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:50,437 I have no idea what that is. 738 00:48:50,461 --> 00:48:52,273 - Trust me. - Okay. 739 00:48:52,297 --> 00:48:53,498 What about you? 740 00:48:53,631 --> 00:48:54,908 What kind of Amber ales do you have? 741 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,610 That'll be two Irish car bombs. 742 00:48:56,634 --> 00:48:58,836 Hey, I like your style. Two Irish car bombs. 743 00:48:58,970 --> 00:49:00,314 I have to work in the morning. 744 00:49:00,338 --> 00:49:02,540 It's one drink, Russell. 745 00:49:07,312 --> 00:49:09,180 Ooh, I didn't see that coming. 746 00:49:09,314 --> 00:49:12,650 Gosh. Apologies, Russell. 747 00:49:13,484 --> 00:49:16,487 This is gonna hurt. 748 00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:21,635 Y... great. 749 00:49:21,659 --> 00:49:23,961 - You got to... yeah. - Yeah. 750 00:49:31,336 --> 00:49:33,971 It went down the wrong pipe. 751 00:49:35,906 --> 00:49:37,875 I have a bad gag reflex. 752 00:49:38,009 --> 00:49:41,355 No, no. I'm not... I'm-I'm not laughing at that. 753 00:49:41,379 --> 00:49:43,924 What, then? 754 00:49:43,948 --> 00:49:46,517 Life. 755 00:49:47,352 --> 00:49:48,886 And the choices people make. 756 00:49:49,020 --> 00:49:50,664 Don't get me wrong. 757 00:49:50,688 --> 00:49:52,723 She made a good one with you. 758 00:49:54,959 --> 00:49:56,561 What are your dreams? 759 00:49:58,863 --> 00:50:00,741 - Dreams? - Or... 760 00:50:00,765 --> 00:50:04,611 You know, "aspirations" might be a better word. 761 00:50:04,635 --> 00:50:06,204 For your life. 762 00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:08,073 For my daughter. 763 00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:09,716 I mean, what... you know, 764 00:50:09,740 --> 00:50:11,152 we-we just got the town house, so we... 765 00:50:11,176 --> 00:50:14,755 yeah, well, that's a purchase, not a dream. 766 00:50:14,779 --> 00:50:21,386 Have you two talked about starting a family? 767 00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:22,720 You know Paige. 768 00:50:22,853 --> 00:50:24,231 She just got down to a size zero, 769 00:50:24,255 --> 00:50:25,699 and she worked really hard for it, so... 770 00:50:25,723 --> 00:50:27,601 okay, Russell, Russell, independent thoughts. 771 00:50:27,625 --> 00:50:29,594 Do you have any? 772 00:50:31,429 --> 00:50:34,031 Yeah, I mean, I guess I want-i want to have kids. 773 00:50:34,132 --> 00:50:34,557 Okay. 774 00:50:34,581 --> 00:50:37,402 And I want to raise them, and I want to... 775 00:50:37,535 --> 00:50:39,104 I want to move out of town, 776 00:50:39,237 --> 00:50:41,014 you know, where they can have a normal... 777 00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:42,649 you know, tr... you know, trick-or-treat 778 00:50:42,673 --> 00:50:45,219 and-and play baseball 779 00:50:45,243 --> 00:50:46,944 and run out on the street, you know? 780 00:50:47,078 --> 00:50:50,724 No, I don't know. I raised mine here. 781 00:50:50,748 --> 00:50:52,059 Right. 782 00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:54,861 Well, that would be my dream. 783 00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:57,122 What about when they're grown? 784 00:50:58,523 --> 00:50:59,900 What's the dream then? 785 00:50:59,924 --> 00:51:01,835 I don't know. I don't know. 786 00:51:01,859 --> 00:51:03,060 I-I haven't gotten that far. 787 00:51:03,161 --> 00:51:05,496 Yeah, well, then you need a new dream. 788 00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:11,169 Honestly, I always thought of you and Preston as the dream. 789 00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:16,817 So did I, Russell. 790 00:51:20,545 --> 00:51:22,813 But that dream is over. 791 00:51:23,948 --> 00:51:26,026 Then I guess we both need a new one. 792 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:30,788 Yeah.